We’ve all been there at some point I suppose. At the intersection of “go” or “turn back”. The clouds are rolling in during a challenging mountain ascent, and you have to make the decision. Retreat or attack. We probably make these decisions more often than we know.
Do you travel to a country where ordering a meal requires an intricate game of charades, or do you just play it safe and book a cruise?
Do you cancel your trail run when the buddy flakes, or do you lace up and pound out the miles anyway?
Do you try the new chocolate stout, or do you stick to your trusty golden lager?
We make decisions every day that are based on our perception of “safe”, but are these decisions actually protecting us from danger?
More importantly, what is fear? Fear, first and foremost, is a survival instinct. It is an evolutionary mechanism that has kept us acutely aware of perceived danger for a couple hundred thousand years. In the early years of human evolution, fear kept us safe from the things that wanted to eat us. If you were a cavewoman wanting to take a swim, the absence of the fear of crocodiles would likely remove you from the gene pool. Fear has been good to us, after all, we’re still here.
For many people today fear is still a constant companion. But what purpose does fear serve now? In a world where danger has to be manufactured in the media and predators have been largely eradicated from our suburbs, does fear still ACTUALLY keep us safe, or does it keep us sheltered?
Think about it. What are YOU afraid of? Bring it out into the open – expose it. Failure. Heartbreak. Public speaking. If you haven’t noticed, things that can actually hurt you are likely missing from your list.
As we have systematically removed most of the physical threats from our lives over the years, our fear hasn’t gone away, we have just applied it to more trivial matters. We just can’t seem to shake it from our bones. Even still, fear remains a choice. It may be our default setting to apply fear to the things that we don’t know or understand, but we can recalibrate. Fear only has power if we give it power. It only calls the shots if you take a back seat.
But why bother? Why expose yourself?
Here is the reality: you are going to die. This is certain. I suspect that this isn’t breaking news, but have you really considered what that means? Your life on this big blue sphere is finite. You can’t change that. So why the distress over something that is a certainty? There is no value in fearing death, but it’s inevitability should certainly shape the way you live your life. It should inform the decisions you make, and your relationship with what is truly worth fearing.
The truth is, nearly everything that is worth having is always on the other side of fear. Failure usually happens when you’ve attempted something big. Heartbreak only happens when you are vulnerable enough to love. Public speaking only happens, well…for me after a few cocktails.
But these are things that lead to a BIG life. A life worth living. A life to be proud of. A life that truly appreciates the fact that death will come, whether you fret over it or not. The life that you always wanted to live is just on the other side of all of the things that you are afraid of.
So ask yourself this simple question, “What would I do today if I were not afraid?” Then go do it. Right now, before the opportunity is gone. Before you change your mind or you choke on a Jolly Rancher. Even if you fail, the process is exhilarating. There is no danger creeping below the surface.
You are the crocodile, and you call the shots.